Honesty in relationships

Honesty is the best policy, sounds rhythmic but absurd.
Honesty is not a policy…
Reference to OXFORD dictionary
Policy---(a set of ideas or a plan of what to do in particular situations that has been agreed officially by a group of people, a business organization, a government or a political party)
The fundamental base of any relationship is honesty. Either this relationship is with our parents, our brothers or with our lover. But what does honesty means? I never regard honesty as a mutual sense of two or many (policy). I feel it as a state. Honesty is a state not a policy. When it is a state, it becomes independent of different relationships. It becomes all ours.We will be as honest to our parents as to our lover. But how does this state rises? This rises by taking our responsibility ourselves. It should not be imposed. Like one becomes honest because one wants others to be honest. It is same as crying the Sutras of nonviolence because of fear of dying. It may be an intelligent technique but cannot be nonviolence.
Here our honesty is not a state. It is an event that happens due to others expectations. Often during making relationship we pretend ourselves to a character that we are not. This ploughs the seeds of dishonesty. It happens because we never accept our self in totality. We want to be others to get others. Somewhere we miss our self-respect. Everyone is unique. God does not create carbon copies. I feel personally, a person with sense of inferiority cannot be honest in relationships and reverse is also true that if a person is dishonest, then he has a feeling of inferiority. This may be one reason of disastrous result of arrange marriage in past. Women were imposed with inferiority by the society by rules (Manusmirti). Love is prerequisite of honesty and acceptance of us in integrity is prerequisite of love.