Happy Republic Day

I have a typical habit of thinking which sometimes drifts to anxiety. Well, I love thinking- Positive thinking, Negative thinking, rational thinking, Irrational thinking. All the adjectives you know, just use and follow the word “thinking”...You will get the classification of thinking. Now when I am in DRDO the question “What is the role of any Defence Organization” has been stimulating me for quite some time. Well, fundamentally any organization works for two purposes. To provide the things, people desire and secondly to build an environment in which people can pursue their desire. Basically the role of defence organization is to put forth a desirable and pleasant environment. A person is hungry. To provide food is work of first type of organization. But to provide a surrounding in which he can eat it comfortably is the role of second type of organizations. Which is superior or which should be prioritized first is irrelevant and absurd as the dependency of two in current scenario is quite significant and impacting. In a deeper sense, even we are fulfilling our desire somewhere there must be a conflict and that conflict would let us to feel the necessity of an organization which can protect or provide the pleasant environment. Conflict arises, not when one attacks but when one protects.

Environment is complex thing as it is defined by the people living in it as well as this same environment defines the people who are living in it. Cause and effect are so interrelated. And when I have to talk about a typical environment in our country where so many issues (I don’t need to mention) are contaminating it, it has become imperative for all to contribute something in order to make it purer. The present is outcome of all the activities that are happening, have happened and is supposed to happen in future. And present has only potential to bring a happy and prosperous future by learning from past. We are indebted to past for our present. So somehow it is our duty to pay back it by our participation for a bright and pleasant future...

In the end I just want to repeat the lines of Kahlil Gibran, the significance of man is not in what he attains, but rather in what he longs to attain.

Happy Republic Day :)

"Right"

My mind which I know is dominantly “right” is not satisfied and constantly pushing question if a person of “right” brain could be a “ right” scientist. Personally I don’t want to be member of those sets of people who arrange things whole life to realize the happiness which they never be able to get conceived. I don’t want to make my life mathematics...I want to make it poetry. There is something in my life that is constantly challenging me to do; to accomplish; to achieve. In the high decibel of its noise what I want seems so blurred and vague. But sometimes I feel you should let you flow in the life observing where it takes. And currently I am in such situation. It has been many days since I have opened my laptop; have seen a good movie; have written something; have introspected and expressed my thoughts. But Really I am missing all these things. The absence of these things has created a void in my life. Recently I have developed interest in photography. And in next coming months I want to enhance it. So I am going to start a new blog, exclusively for photography. Might be in these busy periods this hobby would made me enough alive to appreciate this existence.

Cheers!!

Wish You A Very Happy New Year....:)

Kites

I am fond of flying kites...Kites are one of few things that depict life so aptly...In a blank space, a vulnerable piece of paper is flying...as high as it starts looking like the star dwelling in the light of sun...There are so many kites flying right now...people have got the threads that are controlling them...making them to go more upwards...As they draw the string; it swings up-ward and then like a unwilling child, it starts coming into its own position...But wind starts caressing it like a mother and pushes it to go upwards...And suddenly it starts lifting..But the man is not satisfied by his ‘kites’ current height...he draws the thread again and again until it starts flying at the highest position...And how serious kite looks at the highest position...It is stable...no ups and downs...But has it not lost its charm ???

OLQs

My whole day is so busy now a day that I hardly find any time to open my Lap-top. Life seems like set of repetitive incidents disciplined by certain constraints. Formal wear + tie, black shoes, daily savings, fixed timings of lunch, break-fast and dinner; this is what I am doing and trying best to adapt myself in this changed environment... You wish it for or not...but here the atmosphere is such as you are forced to follow the quote “Early to sleep and early to rise”. One thing I would accept that my life seems more systematic and predetermined but it also feels as mechanical.  Well, I am a trainee who is learning OLQs (officer like qualities) who would be an Officer after 20 weeks.  However Creative works are catalyzed in a free environment where your instincts and impulses could flow in an entropic way...But whatever it is ...it is all our choices that we make in our life... Life is a bounded and vaguely partitioned periphery where we need to have discrete steps with compromised attitude. 

Religion; My Thoughts

It might appear you as a blasphemous post...So please read it at your own risk...It is just my (Agnostic)opinion at this moment which might be changed over the time...

Bertrand Russell says that By self interest Man has become gregarious, but in instinct he has remained to a great extent solitary...these two contradictory characteristics are optimized and glued by the religion...To an extent religion unites in a group...An intelligent technique to face the uncertainty and unpredictability of life...

Recently I was reading the novel “Lajja” by Taslima Nasrinn...A question suddenly came into my mind...Has not religion divided, brought carnage and disaster than united us? For centuries we have been fighting over religion...Some on the name of protecting their religion; some on the name of expanding their religion...

If everything in your life is certain, there would be no need of “God”. But probability of events and incidents has led us to think about some supernatural and mysterious existence (And I don’t say it does not exist; It might exist) and I think that geographical differences and communicational isolation would have brought different names and expressions which we now know as different religions...

Faith and belief give a stand to us. A position, from where we derive courage, motivation and inspiration to move forward; to accept the challenges and to face the disasters. It is imperative to notice how things like river, mountain, wind, sun, moon and stars were considered divine or God but today in the light of knowledge our thoughts have been modified...So It proves to an extent that religion is our necessity, a man-made intelligent technique to unite people in a happy and peaceful ambiance; to answer the mysterious, unknown and unexplainable facts...And as world would change...our perception and interpretations about religion would also change. Fundamentally religion reflects that along with known and unknown there are things that are never-known.

For me, religion is more like a way of life...Hindu religion is a way of life...Islam is another way of life...there are so many different ways. Is it not possible for someone to be more suited for Christianity, even he get birth in Hindu Family and vice-versa? Birth should not define our religion...And if it is... It doesn’t fulfil the significance of religion. If you have right to choose your career, your soul-mate why not religion... Preservation of religion itself invokes the concept of expansion...What is need of preservation? Are people not free to choose what is good for them? The more you can do is to give him knowledge of religion and then let him free to choose his religion (his way of life)...

To establish a society is a difficult task as every person is not as intellectual as he can understand the main essence of religion. So it would have become a necessity to identify what is good and what is bad and then our intelligent forefathers would have given a religious covering with the threats of god so that people could be restricted to destabilize society... it has constrained people to do things which can destabilize the society, however the gap between perfection and heuristic solution has increased as time passed...

But life is not as simple as our forefathers had thought. Human has been always a competitive-ambitious-curious being...Even Religion has united some people but has created a wider gap between two communities who often fight over the superiority and divinity of their religion...People don’t follow Buddha; people follow Buddhism... people don’t follow Mohammad...people follow Islam...People don’t follow shankarcharya; people follow Hinduism ... And there is great difference between following a person and community...Because to follow Buddha, you need to know about his teachings...but following Buddhism you just have to take birth in Buddhist family...People don’t see the moon but only the finger that points the moon....

The word “Religion” has lost his authenticity in midst to blind and prejudiced thoughts. And now when being religious is pronounced as being extremism, this 'word' must be identified its true definition by all and sundry as it would provide a wider tolerance towards which would in turn create happy and peaceful ambiance.

Personally I am not religious, not religious as it sounds to majority of people...But I am spiritual, intuitive and believe in the laws of existence (which I have experienced)...And Might be my faith and belief wouldn’t be as strong as a man who follows ritual, does fast and worships god in Idol form...However, I feel it would be better with no-faith(faith in yourself only) than a blind-faith...Because I feel if your eyes are open, sooner or later you would get the vantage-point which would be proved to be a source of immense faith and courage... 

If I Were A Baby Again

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 4; the fourth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

“If I were baby again”, I can’t say whether I would be happier or not...But I know one thing that I would not be as happy as I conceive about it today. Somehow I feel retrospection makes things brighter and colourful. And might be my imagination due to retrospection would just virtually increase the intensity of happiness...

 

The word “baby” stands for two meanings to me...

First...One who is innocent; new to the world; without any judgement of right or wrong; unbiased; spontaneous; original; jovial; playful; unknown to trickeries of the world...

Second...  One who needs help; who is dependent; who needs care; who is incapable to do many things he wishes; one who is not fit to survive in this practical world...

Amazingly, in the journey of life, for being independent; for being fit to survive one has to lose one’s innocence and has to learn trickeries of world...

I feel when you are new to the world...when you have so many things to explore...when you see the things without any prejudices...You start seeing things beautiful...that exactly happens to a baby...For him everything is new. The leaf of trees, the round marbles and the greenery of grass appear so tempting and enchanting to him...He even doesn’t know how the society has prioritized and valued the things, for him everything holds equal value, either it is diamond or a small marble...

Whenever we see a baby, it reminds us our lost innocence, freshness and newness...the love and care of our parents and siblings; the new zest and excitement of life; uncrushed curiosity...and this remembrance makes the baby more loving and beautiful...For me, seeing a baby and playing with him is more enjoying than being a baby...  

I think that a baby also feel helplessness when he saw his elder brother cycling, playing games which he cannot; doing things he is incapable for...And in this way might be he can feel a tinge of slavery due to his current situation and starts dreaming to be young soon....

Can we not develop same innocence, same curiosity; same newness, same playfulness, same freshness, more precisely a baby like nature? I feel we can...There are so many new things; unexplored things; beautiful things;...and if we start learning new things; start searching unexplored things; start feeling the beauty in integrity, in wholeness ...We can taste the same freshness, same breeziness and same innocence, we used to feel when we were a baby...

So for me it is hard to choose if I am given a choice between being a baby again and remain in the same age...And if anyhow God makes me baby again, I would try to preserve the innocence, the spontaneity, the freshness and the curiosity which I today feel, has been dried out to get the things which are thought to be fit for survival in this practical world....

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Helpless Smile: 55-Fiction#5

A beautiful-sunny morning

Children were running, playing and enjoying

in the cool-breezy-aromatic air

Her soft-tempting eyes were moving...

Suddenly an elderly voice sprouted into air

Come on, Girl! Run and play with these children

She looked behind the bench and with

a helpless-feeble smile, lifted up her crutches...

Message...

Polio free India-Let’s deliver!

Hit hard, make dream a reality! 

Recession: 55 fiction#4

Recession

Doctor: Don’t worry. This recession has brought several other people like you into depression...Have you not read the book “Be happy”? Read and take my prescribed medicines...You would get better soon...

Patient: I don’t think this book would help me...

Doctor: why?

Patient: Because I am the author of this book...

http://images.military.com/pics/fitness-cartoon-052108.jpg

Those Three Words

I had never imagined even in my wildest dream that one day our two years old-matured-committed relationship would get an end. And it was not a terrible dream. It was a dreadful reality. We had fought many times over trivial issues...and fight was not new...but our break-up was shockingly new. In a moment the castle of love, built in two years was collapsed down and was washed out by the tears of our eyes...

This was no way less than a nuclear explosion. My soul was being constantly stressed out of the body. A fire in the whole body was igniting which was reflecting by my faded-desiccated-wrenched face...

My friend suggested me to have a tour as it would make me feel better. So finally, I decided to go Goa, where I first met her. Might be I could end her memories from where it started. So I took the flight to Goa and next day I was at the calangut beach. It was first time I was alone physically but I knew how hard it was to be alone mentally...Mentally, I was still cursing my fate to fall in love with her...If memories of past could be wiped out...I surely would have done...

I was walking along the beach. The wave, going up and down, on the beach somewhere reflecting our  relationship...Happy moments and then unhappy moments...but every-time this was giving a new strength to our relationship...But this emotional exodus had drowned everything; our faith, our trust, our love...

I was watching every imprint; my feet were stamping on the brownish-wet sand. But there was something absent today...I felt my imprint incomplete, ugly, dreadful and feeble...A symmetry was missing and perhaps I felt absence of her feet which were first time imprinted into my heart at the same beach two years ago...

I felt miserable. As miserable as I have never felt before in my entire life...I got shivered with an unknown and alien sensation...And like a Hindi movie...I felt the need of something that could at least make me to forget all this...

I moved to wine shop...I had never had wine before...So I was nervous what would happen...However, the pain I was tolerating was many times bigger than my nervousness...I said the waiter to make a pack...He asked, “Which one, Sir”

“Anyone...”

For a moment he was puzzled to hear my answer...But soon he said, “Fenny, it would be better for you, sir”

Perhaps he had known that It was my debuted drink...

I drank one pack after mixing it to Limca...I felt weightlessness but still I was conscious...

Again I was at the beach...

I murmured as I was reading a poem,” See the waves near the beach, so amazingly inviting to go and take a jump in the enthralling beauty of existence and satiate the ignited fire in the mixture of the divinity of sun-light and playful bluish water.”

My words were so feeble against the strong yet soothing winds that only I could hear what I said... It was my senses that were being translated into words...abstract for others...but complete for me...

My mind was tempting so vigorously that I could not wait to put my clothes off. I ran against the wind; kissing the wind; embracing and feeling the sweetness and in few moments I was in the sea, caressing gently the water; trying to mingle myself completely; yes, completely...like a drop in the ocean...

It was my best bath I have ever had...It did not only clean my body; my whole conscience was feeling fresh and rejuvenated.

I moved towards my hotel...I saw couple walking on the wet sand grabbing each other’s hand, it reminded me the day  when I proposed her and promised her to be with her in every circumstances...I felt a guilt...A guilt that a fresh and rejuvenated soul could not bear...I did not know who was right and who was wrong...I felt a sudden urge to talk her...But I did not know she would talk me or not...I knew I had broken my promise and I needed to apology...I dialled her number on my mobile...Mobile rang and with each ring my heart was pounding like ebb and tide...And suddenly she picked up the phone...My heart was stopped...I could not speak for a moment... But I had to...With a whispering sound I said, “I am Sorry.” And these three words were many times difficult to speak than those three words I had spoken two years ago on the same beach...But the feeling after this was same...A heavy weight of guilt on my heart was thrown out... As I disconnected my phone, I saw an unchecked message saying “I am Sorry” that had been sent 15 minutes before I called her...

Doctor says that when a broken hand heals...it gets more strength...And fortunately our momentary break-up and make-up made our bond stronger; more resistant...

And one day when I told her about this story...She giggled, “Had you really drunk wine? I cannot believe...looks so bollywoodish...doesn’t it?”

“Yes! I had...but please don’t remind me...I am feeling embarrassed... “

“Really, so do you need another pack?” with saying this...she burst into laughter...

I pretended to have a cold gesture but inside I knew that I was wishing to hear her laughter forever....


Love stories have not always tragic ends...they have happy endings too... :)

Uniqueness And Illness

There is one more month after which I am going to enter in professional world. I don’t know how it would be but some of my friends who have joined their respective companies are saying only one thing that “the best days (College days) are over”. Well, it is little bit scary for me when I imagine a routine life, going to office at 8:00 a.m. and returning at 6:00 p.m. without any bunk. And certainly these days would never match with wonderful experiences of college days. The good thing in professional word is salary, a feeling of economical independency...But well, it also somehow comes into a form of responsibility and accountability. My friends say that in college days they have time but short of money and now they have money but short of time. And for all things which we say in general joy, pleasure and happiness... one needs time and money in definite proportions. Along with money and time, one of the most things we require is congenial friends. Without them, our joy and happiness would have no soul...And somehow I feel that is the one thing we could find in our college very easily... However in professional world, friends who match with your taste are more likely to be got in a job which genuinely interests us. And I feel to get such things it is better to put money at stake... The person who is able to derive joy in his professional work is the man of utmost bliss... There are two things he is getting there...First, he is doing an interesting work and second, he is amongst the people who match his taste... 

In India, what I feel, we are not blessed to make our own choices. Most of us are told by the society and it decides our profession and in turn, our future. The choice of profession is prioritized by the salary we would get in that profession. A child doesn’t know what a professor is; what a scientist does; what a manager needs. So only thing which standardizes or ranks is the “money”, we would get in that profession...So a general choice becomes our choice...But in reality, everyone has different interest. Interests cannot be generalized. And hence, when we enter into a world, we feel boredom and dissatisfaction in our job... Blessed are those who find a way to express their interest in form of hobbies which act like elixir for their wrenched soul... 

In most cases, “Different” is termed as “Insanity”. If anyone is different, the contemporary people would feel him either a lunatic or dumb. Even his family, his parents would constantly try to shape him according to commonness of society...Now two things can happen...If the person continued his work, neglecting the public opinion, eventually he would become a “Licensed lunatic” (from a lunatic). In the 2^nd case, he would become a timid person that would be reflected from his introverted and ill-humoured nature. It’s not new...It has been continuing for centuries...I think you can figure out why “Galileo” and “Kepler”  were called the most dangerous people... The words ‘different’ and ‘common’ are also relative words. One who is different in one sect might be common for other sect. In reality, differences mirror people to see what they lack; what they have not, they get afraid of...So they try to omit it, if they can’t, eventually satisfy themselves by making it a synonym of insanity...

I feel whatever profession we would get; how much power we would be bestowed upon; how much money we would have...if we have not found where our interest lies...if we have not found congenial friends...At the final reckoning, we would realize that we have only passed, not enjoyed your life...But going for our interest is not easy job in current scenario..We would have to endure the humiliation of being called “insane”, “non-pragmatic” and "looser". One needs courage...but unfortunately most of us could not... For some people, facing society is more traumatic than facing death...We distort our natural shape according to public opinion... There is only one cure of all this...People need to increase the toleration ability towards public opinion...and when there would be sufficient number of people who accept differences as uniqueness, not as illness, then I feel there would be revolutionary change in the outlook of society...

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A Story of An Old Man

No one knew from where he came and how he was surviving. His big-whitish beard, scattered hair, worn out clothes and his erratic behaviour soon confirmed that he was mentally ill. Outside of colony, people often saw him brushing the ground with the small and thin twig of same tree which had become his permanent shelter. He had an old bag too. No one ever had an idea what was inside it. Someone had given him a bottle and aluminium Tiffin that he put just in front of him and frequently the red monkeys and dogs robbed his food, leaving him hungry and thirsty. Often he talks to himself and it went for longer...Sometimes it turned into cry and sometimes he laughed vehemently. It was hard to predict to see his face what he was going to do...was he about to laugh or about to cry? People passed all day. He never looked at them nor did the people look at him. In the night, the women, who were happy for some personal reason or who wanted to show her sympathetic behaviour to her neighbour or who just inspired by watching “Sanskar Channel” gave him food and water... Since colony was big and most of women were competitively religious...he rarely slept hungry...


It was a very hot day...In the scorching heat, under the tree he was laying as he was counting the number of leaves on the tree. He was not talking as he used to do often. In between the spaces of leaves, rays of sun were appearing like a spear, ready to penetrate the body coming in its way. Insensitive to everything, he, like a dried log, was gazing upwards as he was a broken branch of tree.

It was two in the afternoon. With a dried reed...he was writing something...People were passing but as usual they were ignoring him. But it was something different today...His hands were moving fast...as fast as he had to answer the final question of his life in a very short time. His body was trembling like a just switched off generator. Even in the noise of surroundings...the sound of his breathing, rustling so heavily could be heard... But people were busy and women were in their A.C. Rooms...watching their favourite T.V.Channel...

Now it was five in the evening. Children were playing Cricket. Ravi hit the ball towards the tree. Rishu went ahead to catch the ball. He saw the old man...laying like a lifeless body; grabbing a thin twig with his half closed palms. As he moved forward...He saw something carved on the ground...he tried to read it...

W...A...T...E...R

He pronounced wwaatteerrr. As soon as the meaning of word overrode the sound, he ran towards his home, puzzling his friends who were waiting for the ball to start the game. He went, took a bottle from his fridge...in a second he reached the old man...He tried to shake his body...His body gave a little response...His drowsy eyes opened a bit...His dried lips curved a bit...The boy opened the bottle and poured some droplets of water to his parched and desiccated lips but it did not went inside...It just floated outside. Meanwhile all children rounded him...flabbergasted to see something that they were unknown till now...the TRUTH of life...the END of life...

Soon people gathered around him. It was first time when in his dead body, people noticed that once he was alive...

A dried branch fell on the ground...replacing another one... Only difference was that former would soon be taken...perhaps children would use it to make their new cricket bat...