Sunday, November 21, 2010

Life is Beautiful

He looked deep down in his heart, searching the reasons of the restlessness and the never-felt pain which was literally tearing out his soul from his physical body. In the cacophony of so many unanswerable questions, reasons were lying like half-lived fish, just taken out of the life of ocean. When reasons don’t seem obvious, passion starts reigning mind. But this passion was different in the sense that it was not for getting the reasons but getting out of the reasons... and the questions... and its damn answers. He saw his numb eyes, big nose and big dark-scattered hairs in the glass filled with dark liquid put above the table. The whirling of Fan, the flickering of tube light and the alcoholic smell, had made the ambience look like no less than a horror movie. He was lying like a lump of flesh on his easy chair, putting his legs above the table and one hand holding the glass and other in his lap. The packet of new classic cigarettes was lying down saying “smoking causes Cancer” sounding like the worst joke of his life. In one sip he finished the glass. He felt fire burning down his body. He could hear the pounding of his heart as if it was being repeatedly hammered. He tried to lift his hands but perhaps they were not his now. They did not move. He felt something pulling out him from his body and this pull was terribly unkind.

Grrrrrrrrrr-----His mobile vibrated. With all his effort he moved his eyes and saw number flashing “Mom”. Tears rolled down from his eyes. He felt so helpless. Thoughts started swirling into his mind. And these thoughts came like tornado, storming out everything. For the first time at the verge of dying and living he got scared of death. He got scared of missing the love; the beauty of life. Love comes like tornado. one can't resist it but can assist it. The horror of life turned into a wish to live eternity. Life was looking so beautiful in the eyes of his loved ones. He disdained himself of doing this. But he had already done it and there was no "ALT +Z". He felt something dawning upon him. Perhaps his soul was trying to come out of his ailing body. And at the next moment he got fainted.  

“Life is beautiful”
“This inspiring book has not only made a world record for the most selling copies but also has changed the life of millions. And today, we are highly privileged to have the speaker, the author of this book, Siddhartha Kashyap, also the founder of LIB (Life is Beautiful) international welfare organisation.”

In the midst of thundering claps, a man, in his late 60s appeared at the podium. He had charismatic radiant eyes. He closed his eyes and felt the God inside, perhaps thanking him for giving his life back, 32 years ago.

Everyone comes here for special purpose. There are nothing like good and bad things. There are only “things” which shape us, forge us to be ready to serve our purpose.  

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Day of Eternal Sleep

The Heart- wrenching moments
And the moments of bliss
 Each moment I am becoming new
Peeling out old-rusted-rotten skin
And my heart learns a new more melodious tune
After every tornado of sorrow
And when tears rolls down
They also seep away the blurriness of eyes
I can feel the old, me,
 Becoming new, more and more beautiful
Perhaps life is letting me to my most beautiful day
The day of absolute new, the day of eternal sleep.

Sunday, August 8, 2010


In the fierce and feverish wind
You came and gave a shelter
To my trembled, trampled and gloomy beam of my life
 In the light of my own beam
I saw your radiant face like a sun-rise in my darkened heart
My expression flowed, wiping out all the layers of deceptiveness
And softened the hardened rock 
burdened on my chest due to life-long deposition
Of rules of Good and bad; 
Of discrimination of beautiful and ugly
In the layer-less conscious of my being
I saw the transparent bareness of my own being
Felt the love flowing in the veins in place of blood
Heard the music of my soul crooned by my heart  
And vibrating the tiniest cells of my body
On the sweetest rhythm of Life
I can’t say...How lively the words become
When my love drenches the words coming for you
When I see in your lovely comely eyes
I often wonder...I am seeing Me or You...

Sunday, July 11, 2010


Thoughts flowing through the woven words
Reflected so clearly through the dancing eyes
A life was indeed flowing
Flowing! In between two lives.

In the longitudinal expansion and compression
The silent music was vibrating in the mysterious tune
The bonds inside were loosening
And two lives were centering to a new life.

In the shadow of love, conversely,
Things become brighter and prettier
In the bond of love, conversely
Souls taste the eternal freedom

In the mirror of her eyes
First time I loved myself so deeply
First time I saw “I” vanishing into “We”
First time I felt a drop mingling into Life-Sea

My hands felt a sudden urge to touch her
I felt to say how amazing, adorable she was
But the touch, the words were so petty
Their worldly touch could defile its sanctity

Alas! The night of departure stroked
Ear got deaf and eyes got blurred
It was “Time” who tried to cut the chord
To break the mirror with its mighty sword
I cried oh! Lord
Why did you let me fall in love with her?
If you had to take her away from me
In the reflection of my own sound
I felt her inside my heart
The mirror which I used to hold,
was now dwelling inside my heart.
If Death defines life
Departure derives Love.

Saturday, June 12, 2010



Fleshes, bones and skin-tones
Boiling emotions, stimulating sensations
I puzzled if I was alone
Who was prone
To this skinny-shallow-hollow perception of life.
In their sizzling-smile and twinkling eyes
Now I can see the hidden lie
That these have been sold out for a price
A price that finally evokes the prejudiced views
And let us feel the inequalities
By rating superiority and inferiority
But if our eyes go beyond this
Superficial-synthetic-simulated wall
We can hear the music of lovely heart
We can see the flowing love
We can feel the divine soul
That cannot be valued by worldly dollars
Or de-valued by being weak and poor
Our senses can be complex and dense
But true love starts from something And goes into NOTHINGNESS… :)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Mesmerizing Memories

In six months of relatively small period of my life I have been at three beautiful places that have carved mesmerizing memories in my heart and soul forever. Well, these seemingly hyperbolic statements are about Pune, Amritsar and Bangalore. Pune, the place where I did my training in exquisite and enthralling surroundings of mesmerizing mountains and sparkling greenery… There was an amazing amalgamation of serenity and liveliness in the aromatic air of this place which I feel is somehow originated or just embroidered by the cool and composed water of Khadakwasla lake. And yeah, on the weekend, the city-malls and the roads which inexplicably widened the eyes of a guy like me and made me feel the rush of excitement inside me…

Amritsar, where I was during my field-attachment with Army is historically, religiously and aesthetically a place of great importance. A narrow geographical line which has created a huge valley engrossed with hate and disbelief defines the one side of this city…My sense of freedom got deepened and sudden surge of anger flew through my veins when I witnessed the reminiscences of one of the most dreadful incident happened in the entire history in Jaaliwala Bagh. The resplendent beauty of Golden temple, bathed in the golden rays of setting sun was such a superb scenic view that led me to appreciate the kaleidoscopic beauty of existence…And finally how can my taste-buds forget those delicious and mouthwatering Goleguppes and Aalloo ke parathe??

Bangalore…the name itself sounded so many images in my mind which had been created in the very beginning of my engineering in IT-BHU…I used to visualized this city with dazzling and glittering multi-storey buildings, wide reflecting roads and girls walking in their gorgeous dresses very similar to Hollywood movies…As soon as I entered into my residential complex in Bangalore, I was delighted to see the reddish ground as if red flowers of the lush-green trees were reflecting themselves on the ground…There was vibrant and shimmering greenery inside my township with the fragrance of tranquility and serenity…and it took no time to find why Bangalore is also known as “City of Gardens”. I am just two weeks old in Bangalore...So visually unfamiliar about its flashy and cheeky side of the city…Will say about it in detail in my coming posts…
So this Monday as I got in the Spice-Jet…An unexpected and unprecedented thing occurred…Which led me to formulate something… which I wish to share with you…

If you are single…
The best thing happens in a journey when a beautiful girl sits beside you…and the worst thing happens when she sits with her boy-friend beside you…: D

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Something I belong, Really and Eternally

Somewhere so far I was
Didn’t know what was pinching my heart
Didn’t know what was twitching my eyes
In the emptiness and incompleteness of my own being
Was seeking a companion, a confidant, a matching being
I put my hands on my heart and the Nerves
And I listened between those two Gaps
Something irrational, inexplicable and mysterious
Some vague vibrations were dwelling inside my heart of hearts
Invisible wires, disintegrated due the loads of longevity
Devastating celestial-communication of me and divinity
And you put your loving hands on my head
A miraculous and mysterious resonance occurred
My heart found its own rhyme and rhythm
My eyes were no longer dim and numb
My soul was dancing in the music of existence
I was free, now there was no boundaries, no fence
I did not believe in God; I did not believe in Miracle
I did not believe in mysteries; I did not believe the power of soul
But that day...I experienced God...I experienced Miracle
I witnessed mystery... and in your soul I found mine
You are the origin of my Life; the quintessence of love
And there is an invisible and indestructible link
That even your memories let me sleep in your lap
In this Vast and huge territorial Map
If something I belong, really and eternally
This is one and only, your warm and loving lap

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


Distorted emotions; camouflaged expressions
Never been allowed to fly without restrictions
Suppressed, subjugated, concealed and repressed
Wouldn’t they imprison us in a dead-bed?
We take birth and die but in between the two
There is life... momentary, moving and mortal
And there is heart... tender, emotive and irrational
Synchronicity of these two might be “love”
The weakest and the most vulnerable link
Can let us be in heaven or hell in a blink
In the weightless, blossoming and sparkling environment
Emotions are spontaneous and unrestricted
Also, Immaculate and innocent like a child
Expression is reflection of emotions...
And Love is the most subtle and pure form of Expression...

Sunday, May 2, 2010


I heard soothing sound of perhaps, those ringing-bells,
Carried by perfumed wind, breezing from those far green dells
An indistinguishable-invisible life was mixed and merged
 And my ignited-dehydrated heart was somehow quenching his thirst
All of sudden, I stood up, danced, laughed and cried
People were in awe and in surprise, standing by side
I felt more incense; more soothing sound
Mesmerized I was, insisted my friends to make a round
They clapped; they sang and I danced, lying on the ground
I saw group of people, clad in white; walking silently and mournfully
Then I suddenly realized, it was not ringing bells but mourning knells
The mourning knells of one are ringing bells for someone
In life, Contradiction is often driven through the integration
 One’s dark-dreary night might be other’s bright-breezy morrow
Even flowers of happiness blossom in the roots of sorrow

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Stream of Emotions

In the whirling of emotions
Things start centering inside
There were so many, implicit and explicit
Fictional and real; dirty and Neat
Words are so feeble to let it out
Heart is restless to clear this doubt
When you are delicate inside
An apparent-stoned-layer rounds outside
Might be it is a nature’s way
To resist the hurtful-feelings and to keep it away
Or might be it is a defensive approach
Which disorients your outside and inside so much
You are dumped into saddening-schizophrenic-hell
To hear your own mournful-melancholic knell
Put out the garbage that has choked the stream of emotions
And the layers that have hided your heart from the rejuvenating ray of sun
Love cannot bloom in the drenched-barren-deserted soul
And without ‘love’ you cannot immaculately enact your role

Dear friends...I am going to be again active in Blog-sphere...My Training has been almost completed now. I have been posted in Bangalore...From this weekend I would be in Bangalore...

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Women-Empowerment (A Short Story)

Her spectacle ridden red eyes were trying to run away from the crowd as soon as possible. Every person was looking so alien, so dreadful.  Her heart was pounding so fast, it felt it could come out anytime. She closed her eyes; took a long-breath; chanted a prayer, perhaps to stabilize her trembling soul. But it was of no use. In the high decibel of the noise she had already lost her ability to hear her own words. Somewhere at some meters away she found a corner.  She moved towards the corner with her shuddering legs but alas! Her blurring eyes were proving too difficult to keep open. She fell down and in a few hours she was laying against white bed-sheet in the government hospital.
She didn’t know who took her there.  She moved her eyes everywhere to search some known faces. But there was no one. Finally she closed her eyes.
So how are you feeling now?
She heard a male, soothing yet concerned voice, but not sure if it was for her or someone else. She opened her eyes slightly...As the image in front of her was misted down, she saw an young handsome man in his late 30’s standing beside her and looking directly into her eyes.
For a moment she was flabbergasted and then with shivering sound she murmured...
Feeling okkk...
There was a small gap. Questions were not being asked. But in between the space of the two there were so many questions swirling around.
“Thanks a lot for taking me to hospital. I don’t know what would have happened if you did not come.”
“It’s ok. It is not a big deal. Anyways I had called your dad when you were not conscious... got his number from your mobile.”
“By the way, you live in Sarnath. Then what were you doing here...?”
“I am Rishita, Professionally a teacher...I teach English, here in Sunbeam school.
And what do you do??”
I am Ajeet. I run a NGO who is working for social issues like begging, poverty, caste-ism etc."
“That’s the reason why you took me to a hospital.” She smiled...
“Not exactly...however it is part of my work... our NGO works also for women-empowerment.”
"Women-empowerment!!" She said with a sarcastic smile...
"What happened... is it a joke...??"
"Might be..."
She tried to say more and then put a sudden pause as she just wanted to choke the words coming out of her mouth...
Tell seemed to have something to say... let it come... I want to know...
“Women’s Empowerment! Is it not a big word only to pronounce? Every year Government celebrates one day as women-empowerment day and start envisioning empowerment of women. Male-chauvinism is lying in the DNA of society. It is incurable. I hope when god would again create this world, women will get the equal status as men have.”
He was wondering what happened to her all of sudden. It seems that the fire inside her heart was just being translated into words....
He tried to calm her...and replied confidently but politely...
“I don’t know.............But.... Society is changing.... Our constitution has a provision of gender equality. Women are doing a marvelous job. Government has started new schemes.  Education is changing the attitude of people. Once people get educated, I hope this would do a tremendous change in the structure of society.”
So you are saying that Education will remove suffering of women. Do you any idea how women are being treated in corporate or any working institutions? Eve-teasing, molestation and vulgar comments have become part of their routine. The person who writes articles about the women-empowerment is charged with molestation. They say dowry is a crime; then can you tell me who is not criminal, even in your 'educated class' people. Society is not is just disguising...... camouflaging..."
"Oh! Come on...Many people are not taking dowry. Our laws are getting strict. I am running NGO and I know how many such cases have been handled by police."
"Then they must have gifts... :P"
"You are behaving like a misanthropist... I don’t know why? Anyways I cannot justify our society more. At most we can try to make it good if it is bad..."
"I cannot comment. I have lost all my faith to this society and its impotent laws."
As discussion was getting hotter, an old man in his late 60’s entered in the room. His worried face and moving eyes soon confirmed that he was her father.
"What happened to you dear...?" He said as he was about to cry...
"Nothing Dad...Just the weather...Days are too hot"
"Anyways he is Ajeet; he took me to the hospital..."
"Ajeet!!... Ajeet Saxena... (Pause for some seconds)..."
"So you are the son of K.K. Saxena..."      
"Yeah! But how do you know...??"
"I know... just leave it..."
"Thank you so much for taking her to the hospital..."
Saying this, he lost his control on himself and tears trickled through the corner of his eyes... He could not believe that just two days ago the father of same person has rejected the proposal of marriage as he was not able to match his status...If  he could give 2 lakhs more, he would have matched....He did not know if Ajeet knew it or not but he was wondering who is guilty... Ajeet, his father or this Society.   

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Dense Senses

I let my nerves restrain more and more
I let myself wait more and more
I let my pores sweat more and more
Might be it would let me find my inner core
Might be it would let me differentiate rot and pure
Might be it would lead me to freedom-door
And today in the rapid race of life
In the false praise and frustrating strife
I too have got addicted for this dazzling yet shallow life
Moving in the same way, millions are running
Dreaming and desiring the same thing, millions are doing
And dying for love when so much love is raining
Have I not lost myself in the crowd of people?
Have I not become cripple due to race of being special?
Sometimes I feel to break all these invisible dazzling chains
And let my soul feel the unadulterated air outside these hollow dens
But my senses have become so dense
Its gravity is not letting me come out of the social-fence.
But one day I would, no more this life can lure
Life is so short; one must go for its cure.

Saturday, February 20, 2010


*Picture is subjected to Copyright
Many Days have been
I haven’t written anything
Today I put my hands on the Keyboard
Perhaps to tune my feeling through mind-chord
My feelings are new and has buried the old
Now I am not good but I am bold
My Goodness was nothing
But a dull flower in the soil of my cowardness
I got afraid of them who are themselves
Shrinking in the darkness of fear
I got unhappy due to them who are themselves
Too unhappy to see other’s happiness
They don’t let you to see the reality
Disguised themselves in the shallow make up of gaiety
Love! It is only that can make us bold
It is only that can change our mental-mould
And boldness is what let you to be free
And freedom is the sweetest fruit of your Life-tree