Those Three Words

I had never imagined even in my wildest dream that one day our two years old-matured-committed relationship would get an end. And it was not a terrible dream. It was a dreadful reality. We had fought many times over trivial issues...and fight was not new...but our break-up was shockingly new. In a moment the castle of love, built in two years was collapsed down and was washed out by the tears of our eyes...

This was no way less than a nuclear explosion. My soul was being constantly stressed out of the body. A fire in the whole body was igniting which was reflecting by my faded-desiccated-wrenched face...

My friend suggested me to have a tour as it would make me feel better. So finally, I decided to go Goa, where I first met her. Might be I could end her memories from where it started. So I took the flight to Goa and next day I was at the calangut beach. It was first time I was alone physically but I knew how hard it was to be alone mentally...Mentally, I was still cursing my fate to fall in love with her...If memories of past could be wiped out...I surely would have done...

I was walking along the beach. The wave, going up and down, on the beach somewhere reflecting our  relationship...Happy moments and then unhappy moments...but every-time this was giving a new strength to our relationship...But this emotional exodus had drowned everything; our faith, our trust, our love...

I was watching every imprint; my feet were stamping on the brownish-wet sand. But there was something absent today...I felt my imprint incomplete, ugly, dreadful and feeble...A symmetry was missing and perhaps I felt absence of her feet which were first time imprinted into my heart at the same beach two years ago...

I felt miserable. As miserable as I have never felt before in my entire life...I got shivered with an unknown and alien sensation...And like a Hindi movie...I felt the need of something that could at least make me to forget all this...

I moved to wine shop...I had never had wine before...So I was nervous what would happen...However, the pain I was tolerating was many times bigger than my nervousness...I said the waiter to make a pack...He asked, “Which one, Sir”

“Anyone...”

For a moment he was puzzled to hear my answer...But soon he said, “Fenny, it would be better for you, sir”

Perhaps he had known that It was my debuted drink...

I drank one pack after mixing it to Limca...I felt weightlessness but still I was conscious...

Again I was at the beach...

I murmured as I was reading a poem,” See the waves near the beach, so amazingly inviting to go and take a jump in the enthralling beauty of existence and satiate the ignited fire in the mixture of the divinity of sun-light and playful bluish water.”

My words were so feeble against the strong yet soothing winds that only I could hear what I said... It was my senses that were being translated into words...abstract for others...but complete for me...

My mind was tempting so vigorously that I could not wait to put my clothes off. I ran against the wind; kissing the wind; embracing and feeling the sweetness and in few moments I was in the sea, caressing gently the water; trying to mingle myself completely; yes, completely...like a drop in the ocean...

It was my best bath I have ever had...It did not only clean my body; my whole conscience was feeling fresh and rejuvenated.

I moved towards my hotel...I saw couple walking on the wet sand grabbing each other’s hand, it reminded me the day  when I proposed her and promised her to be with her in every circumstances...I felt a guilt...A guilt that a fresh and rejuvenated soul could not bear...I did not know who was right and who was wrong...I felt a sudden urge to talk her...But I did not know she would talk me or not...I knew I had broken my promise and I needed to apology...I dialled her number on my mobile...Mobile rang and with each ring my heart was pounding like ebb and tide...And suddenly she picked up the phone...My heart was stopped...I could not speak for a moment... But I had to...With a whispering sound I said, “I am Sorry.” And these three words were many times difficult to speak than those three words I had spoken two years ago on the same beach...But the feeling after this was same...A heavy weight of guilt on my heart was thrown out... As I disconnected my phone, I saw an unchecked message saying “I am Sorry” that had been sent 15 minutes before I called her...

Doctor says that when a broken hand heals...it gets more strength...And fortunately our momentary break-up and make-up made our bond stronger; more resistant...

And one day when I told her about this story...She giggled, “Had you really drunk wine? I cannot believe...looks so bollywoodish...doesn’t it?”

“Yes! I had...but please don’t remind me...I am feeling embarrassed... “

“Really, so do you need another pack?” with saying this...she burst into laughter...

I pretended to have a cold gesture but inside I knew that I was wishing to hear her laughter forever....


Love stories have not always tragic ends...they have happy endings too... :)