Labels

55 fiction (5) autobiographical (38) autobiographicl (1) books (2) education (6) ethics (1) excerpts (1) fiction (11) history (1) introspection (8) jokes (6) journey (3) life (13) love (29) motivation (2) Movie (1) my poems (37) nature (1) news (1) personal (72) philosophy (66) politics (6) religion (9) review (5) revolution (15) science (7) society (19) story (20) tag (3) travelogue (1) village (1)

Friday, October 23, 2009

A Story of An Old Man




No one knew from where he came and how he was surviving. His big-whitish beard, scattered hair, worn out clothes and his erratic behaviour soon confirmed that he was mentally ill. Outside of colony, people often saw him brushing the ground with the small and thin twig of same tree which had become his permanent shelter. He had an old bag too. No one ever had an idea what was inside it. Someone had given him a bottle and aluminium Tiffin that he put just in front of him and frequently the red monkeys and dogs robbed his food, leaving him hungry and thirsty. Often he talks to himself and it went for longer...Sometimes it turned into cry and sometimes he laughed vehemently. It was hard to predict to see his face what he was going to do...was he about to laugh or about to cry? People passed all day. He never looked at them nor did the people look at him. In the night, the women, who were happy for some personal reason or who wanted to show her sympathetic behaviour to her neighbour or who just inspired by watching “Sanskar Channel” gave him food and water... Since colony was big and most of women were competitively religious...he rarely slept hungry...


It was a very hot day...In the scorching heat, under the tree he was laying as he was counting the number of leaves on the tree. He was not talking as he used to do often. In between the spaces of leaves, rays of sun were appearing like a spear, ready to penetrate the body coming in its way. Insensitive to everything, he, like a dried log, was gazing upwards as he was a broken branch of tree.
It was two in the afternoon. With a dried reed...he was writing something...People were passing but as usual they were ignoring him. But it was something different today...His hands were moving fast...as fast as he had to answer the final question of his life in a very short time. His body was trembling like a just switched off generator. Even in the noise of surroundings...the sound of his breathing, rustling so heavily could be heard... But people were busy and women were in their A.C. Rooms...watching their favourite T.V.Channel...
Now it was five in the evening. Children were playing Cricket. Ravi hit the ball towards the tree. Rishu went ahead to catch the ball. He saw the old man...laying like a lifeless body; grabbing a thin twig with his half closed palms. As he moved forward...He saw something carved on the ground...he tried to read it...
W...A...T...E...R




He pronounced wwaatteerrr. As soon as the meaning of word overrode the sound, he ran towards his home, puzzling his friends who were waiting for the ball to start the game. He went, took a bottle from his fridge...in a second he reached the old man...He tried to shake his body...His body gave a little response...His drowsy eyes opened a bit...His dried lips curved a bit...The boy opened the bottle and poured some droplets of water to his parched and desiccated lips but it did not went inside...It just floated outside. Meanwhile all children rounded him...flabbergasted to see something that they were unknown till now...the TRUTH of life...the END of life...
Soon people gathered around him. It was first time when in his dead body, people noticed that once he was alive...
A dried branch fell on the ground...replacing another one... Only difference was that former would soon be taken...perhaps children would use it to make their new cricket bat...

39 comments:

RSV said...

yaar rishu tune rula diya....
amazing post....

brilliant narration...
awesome details...
wonderful concept...
a reality exposed..
mermerizing..

TAKE A BOW MAN!!

RSV said...

i WAN TO ADD THIS TO MY WALL OF FAME..
MAY i??

Singh Amit said...

@RSV
Thanks a lot for your encouraging comment.. :)
So glad you liked it.. :)

WALL OF FAME!.... Wow! that's gr8
It would be an honor .... :)


Cheers!!
Rishu.. :)

AJai said...

We often go through life without realizing the little people in it. It's sad how we treat people in this country. I wish we could do something about it. Like in your story... by the time we realize and do somethin abt it we're always too late.

divsi said...

superb amit!!!
amazin...was this a real life incident..?
u re posts are so sensitive n meaningful!
god bless u!:)

Ekam said...

A tear just fell from my eye. That was very good Amit.
We think that we have enough of life to live but never know when that moment of end comes.. That was very nice Amit. Really.

BK Chowla said...

A very impressive post and very touching and emotional.

Samadrita said...

Sad but one of the ugly truths of reality.That's how beggars and lunatics are treated in our country.Nobody gives a damn.Sometimes we forget we are all humans co-existing in a world where everyone are made of flesh and blood irrespective of which background they hail from.Weird how we always choose to ignore this fact.
Really sensitive topic Amit!Liked your story a lot. :)

Singh Amit said...

@ Ajai
Thanks a lot ..
Really we need to do something...at least with If my post would aware even a single person I would feel(not feel make them remember) that the purpose of my story is fulfilled..
But It is hard to blame the society as I am also a part of it...I too have neglected such people...we always find excuses for that too...

Cheers!!

Singh Amit said...

@ Divsi..
Thanks a lot... :)
it is fiction...but in some way it is inspired by reality...:)
Glad that you liked it.. :)

Cheers!!

Singh Amit said...

@Ekam..
Thanks a lot... :)

How Vulnerable life is!!

Glad that you liked it..:)
Cheers!!

Singh Amit said...

@Chowla Ji
Thanks a lot for ur encouraging comment.. :)
Glad that you liked it.. :)
Cheers!!

Singh Amit said...

@ Samadrita..
Thanks a lot... :)
It is really an ugly truth which often we don't want to face.... But we should have... :)
So glad You liked it :)
Cheers!!

mAhEsH KaLaAL said...

realistic narration with every nuance being taken care of.....
any unsaid words through the post??

Roshmi Sinha said...

A very impressive post. Take a bow Amit! :)

P.S. I was just wondering... since you hail from UP... which is renowned for among other things... dacoits! The legendary ones as well as the unsung ones... but who too could be the protagonist for some riveting tales.

There are many aspects of these dacoits... many details, customs, behaviour... etc., that have not been brought out by the ubiquitous Bollywood movies.

We have just celebrated Kali puja... and Kali puja without dacoit tales are just not done. They still invoke childhood memories and a kind of romanticism...

Why don't you write a post on them or may be a series of posts on them... ???

Bengal too has had several legendary dacoits. I have just written a post on them... titled, "Tales of Dacoits and one unique story... dating back three centuries!" Do let me know your thoughts on it.

I am going to ask yet another blogger friend.. hailing from Bihar to try and pen down some tales from that region too. And then we could link them up... maybe. What say... ???

Singh Amit said...

@ Mahesh...
Thanks a lot buddy.. :)
So glad you liked it :)

Cheers!!

Singh Amit said...

@Roshmi
Thanks a lot... :)
So glad u liked it.. :)

Yeah..the legendary dacoits like Phoolan Devi and Man Singh hail from U.P.
I don't know much about them however I would try to know more and would write a post... :)

Cheers!!

Samadrita said...

Anyway I edited my last post and tagged a few more people since it turns out the one who tagged me wants different versions of the same story.Do check it out :)

Babli said...

Very touching and emotional post. As I was reading your post I was thinking that we come across so many people like this poor old man but instead of helping them we just ignore and neglect them.

Bharathi said...

Nice fiction pal. yes. you are right. we pay very less attention to life over money.

Roshmi Sinha said...

Great Amit! Will look forward to reading them. Also how about writing on the lesser known ones as well...

Daone said...

That was pretty impressive, man. Pretty touching, I must say. I like your blog layout too. I have bookmarked it. Will read more of your posts soon.
Meanwhile, you might want to check out some of my works. I write fiction too :)

Singh Amit said...

@Samadrita..
Thanks a lot... :)
I have checked it...
I would complete it as soon as possible :)
Cheers!!

Singh Amit said...

@Babli
Thanks a lot.. :)
Glad that you liked it
Cheers!!

Singh Amit said...

@ Bharathi...
Thanks a lot :)
You are true pal..we often ignore such people :)
Cheers!!

Singh Amit said...

@ Roshmi..
Yeah.. I think it would be more interesting to write on lesser known....:)
I don't know much..however I would try to know about them .. :)
Cheers!!

Singh Amit said...

@Daone..
Thanks a lot :)
Welcome to my blog buddy :)
I would read ur posts soon :)
Keep visiting :)
Cheers!!

rashmi said...

a very brilliantly written n a very impressive post..
yes, its very true, we don't give a damn to such people, but speak a lot bout poverty and all..
nice post..
keep writing :)

Singh Amit said...

thanks a lot Rashmi...
So glad u liked it..
Cheers!!

Rachana Shakyawar said...

@ Amit
Excellent Boy! (It’s U)

"The boy opened the bottle and poured some droplets of water to his parched and desiccated lips but it did not went inside...It just floated outside."

Believe me...I could feel this moment...so scary, dry cuticles but soaked in the pain...
Your post is always a true reflection of the Society and human mind…and acts the best therapy to concentrate a bit in our-self and try to make a difference in other’s life...


|P.S.| It was weekend and I was busy.

Perhaps, I’m sorry to be late to comment but I wish more and more comments
...poured in…just as it floated outside in outshine all others

Cheers!

Mustaf said...

Amit,

That was just awesome yar. With your vivid description, i thought it was a real life experience, just too good :)

Thanks to blogadda for bringing us together :)

Sat_hi_sh said...

Factful post Amit...
U really post some thoughtful posts :)

gr8 work :)

keep blogging
cheers!!!

Butterfly Thoughts said...

I dont have words..really. a thoughtful and eye opening post. Keep writing. You have a talent..
I dont know but this post made me feel something a thought that I cant express.

Singh Amit said...

@ Rachana :)
Thanks a lot .. :)
So glad u liked it.. :)

It's ok..I know :)... after one month I am also going to join DRDO..So might be I would not get as much time as I am getting Now... :)
You just read my post..it is the best gift I receive... :)
keep visiting :)

Cheers!!

Singh Amit said...

@Mustafa
Thanks a lot buddy.. :)
I too thankful to BlogAdda for bringing us together.. :)
Keep Visiting :)
Cheers!!

Singh Amit said...

@ Sathish
Thanks a lot... :)
So glad you Liked it.. :)

Cheers!!

Singh Amit said...

@Butterfly Thoughts
Thanks a lot for your encouraging words.. :)
So Glad you liked it.. :)
Keep Visiting :)
Cheers!!

Jaunty anima said...

Gosh u left me all senti...highly emotional,quality stuff!!

Chatterbox said...

Excellent story.
You wonderfully and very effectively highlighted the bitter truth of our society. We come across people in need at every walk and corner of our life, but we are too occupied in our own selves to lend them a helping hand or even give them a second look.

Thanks for sharing this touching story.

Keep up the good work.

Cheers!!